Expats Bereaving......

Expats Bereaving......

Hallo Julle!!!

Ok, we all know being away from our country and our people is hard ne!! Some of us live here in the UK all alone, no family, net jy en jouself… is not lekker ne!!

So we go about our lives here, day to day… we deal with the longing, the loneliness etc.

But the worst part for me about living away from my family, is at a time of death…. Ag toggie…. Dis net dan wat ek alles wil opgee en trug gaan huistoe.

In my life time, I have had to say goodbye to my cousin due to lupus, she was only in her early 30s.. sy was tog so jonk, she left behind a 6 month old baby boy… before that was my great granny, it was so sad. I had to say good bye to my biological father, now that one was eina… coz we only just found each other a few years before.

But all of the above happened while I was living in South Africa.

While living in the UK, we as a family had to say goodbye to my father in law, he was such a character, we flew to SA, had the funeral, big one it was, he was loved by many….

Then my Ouma died.. ai tog – I still can't accept it.. she was my life, my mother, she was my rock and she saved me from evil people. I adored her.

Then the big one, my brother and his fiancé, I was fortunate, the SA community helped me to get home to bury them. they were so young. Years later, I still cannot believe how the community stood together to help one of their own. I am still so grateful.

I could not go home for my Ouma… and even till today, it haunts me, I should have been home to say goodbye to her, even though I said goodbye a few years before, for me it was not enough. After everything she did for me my entire life, the least I could do was say goodbye properly. But I am sure I am not the only one that feels like that.

As a community here in the UK, we often hear of people that cannot go home to say goodbye to a loved one, the guilt, it eats you.

Last week a South African woman died, she was young, pregnant and so loved by so many, she left behind 2 children, she was kept alive so they could give the baby a chance…. Baby was born, and the machines were turned off, how sad…. It shook the SA community in the UK. But again, the community came together to help the dad. He was left with 3 very young children. Over £26k were raised. Well done SAFFAS. 

Then last Friday, another SA mom had to say goodbye to her only son, like any mother would be, she is devastated, the dad has to come from SA to bury his child…..

I am sure loads of SAFFAS have similar stories, it is hard. I know it was our choice to live here, but it does not mean we cannot cry for our loved ones, it does not mean we are not allowed to have moments of regret, moments of longing…. We are only human.

For those having to deal with a death in the family, I am sorry for your loss. Please remember, as a community we understand your pain and sorrow. We support our own.

Thank you

Dankie



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